The Fabulous Stains

A punk curio for Tuesday- Ladies And Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains! was a film released in 1982, shot in British Colombia. The plot centres around The Stains, an all girl punk band created after Corinne Burns (played by Diane Lane, in the middle above) loses her job. There’s a full synopsis here and the original 1982 trailer here.

The film got a dvd release in 2008 and you might find a copy on any of the popular internet shopping websites. It’s pretty dated but Lane gives a good performance and it’s good fun. The film also features the UK punk band The Professionals (who appear in the film as The Looters)- Paul Cook and Steve Jones (both at a loose end following the demise of the Sex Pistols), plus Paul Simonon (who flew off to make the film while the rest of the Clash holed up in New York starting work on Sandinista and so missed playing the bass on The Magnificent Seven) and Ray Winstone (who is now most often found encouraging people to bet responsibly NOW! before the next throw-in). The band play their song Join The Professionals in the film, proving to be a punk epiphany for Corinne Burns and later on Ray tries to get off with her in a hotel room while also telling her how frustrated he is as an artist…








The Professionals were an actual band for Jones and Cook and the song is perfectly adequate, functional, second division punk, showing mainly that John Lydon’s contribution to Sex Pistols songs was invaluable and unique. And maybe Glen Matlock’s songwriting was quite important too.